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Sunday, December 23, 2007 

Bear shits in woods.

In a shock move, Pope Benedict has renounced his Catholic faith and will be stepping down as God's messenger on Earth with immediate effect. Questioned why just before Christmas he was abandoning Jehovah, Joseph Ratzinger was brusque:

"It's that Tony Blair. I might have been the figurehead of a church which through its policies on abortion and contraception condemns many of the world's poor to further unnecessary misery, but to share the same faith as a war criminal responsible in part for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis was just too much of a burden to bear."

Obsolete did attempt to contact Mr Blair for comment, but was met only with a reply from his spin doctor, the archangel Gabriel, who said:

"We don't do war."

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